I Am Never Ever Ever, Drinking Again
by Squiggle.giggle
Summary: "Alright, I'll probably have one beer," Rick explained. "Two," Drew corrected. "Yeah, two at the most." Drew and Rick are invited to TC Birthday party and they expected a nice quiet evening. Boy, were they wrong


Hello, im actually impressed with how fast I'm writing these.

Only thing to really now is that Bri is about 17-18 years old in this fic

Please enjoy

Love, Squiggle xoxo

* * *

Rick stood in front of the foyer mirror, he buttoned and then unbuttoned the top of his dark grey dress shirt. Sighing in defeat, he tried to muss his slightly shaggy dark hair into some kind of style, it was way over due for a cut. Drew was still in their room getting ready for TC's Birthday party, normally they would have just gone to a bar for the occasion but with his on again/off again relationship with Jordan which was currently 'on'; she had wanted to do something more special.

"Dad, we need pizza money," Brianna told, Jasmine, Bri's friend following behind. Bri scrutinised her dad's hair before reaching out a hand and styling it more to her liking. Rick moved away playfully as he reached in his pocket for his wallet, retrieving a $20 bill. He went to give the money to his daughter before pulling the note back as a thought occurred to him.

"Are you going to order from Domino's just so that cute delivery guy will come by?" Rick asked curiously, eyeing the two teen girls suspiciously.

"Well duh!" Bri replied obviously, attempting to grab the money but Rick was too quick for her. "And how do you even know he's cute? Isn't creeping on a minor a crime? You should know, you're a cop!"

"I wasn't creeping on him, I was admiring him very briefly but then I felt really awkward because he is young enough to be my son."

"Or your future son in law!" Bri sing-songed, finally snatching the money.

"We have a future son in law?" Drew asked confusedly as he walked up and wrapped an arm around his husband's waist.

"Over my dead body," Rick laughed, "alright girls after you drop us off, we should only be gone for a few hours, so no parties."

"Don't worry dad, all we will be doing is eating pizza and watching The Bachelor," Bri explained.

"And ice-cream," Jasmine chimed in, Bri nodding in agreement.

"Alright, I'll probably have one beer," Rick explained.

"Two," Drew corrected.

"Yeah, two at the most."

"Absolutely."

* * *

True to their word, Rick and Drew only had two beers…. And three wines, two shots of tequila, five jello shooters and some fruity pink thing that Krista had made. Drew was feeling a little more than buzzed, currently sitting on the lounge sandwiched between Krista and Jordan as they talked animatedly about… something, he was having trouble concentrating. Looking around the room he eventually spotted his husband, leaning against a wall, one eye closed as he tried to line up the perfect shot in Beer Pong. As Drew haphazardly pushed himself up he heard a cheer and assumed that Rick landed the shot.

"It's hot in here," TC said after downing the half full Solo cup, beginning to take off his shirt.

"Why do you always take off your clothes when you're drunk?" Topher asked, rolling his eyes at his friend as he struggled with the buttons. Drew swaggered his way over to Rick, curling one arm around the man's waist and rested his other hand on his muscular chest.

"Are you having a good time?" Drew slurred, the Captain smiled down at his husband giving him a disjointed nod before leaning in for a kiss; it was more teeth than anything but that didn't stop the catcalling and hoots from their friends. Just as Rick was about to flip them off his phone started ringing, squinting he tried to read the name on the screen.

"Oh it's Bri, I love her," Rick expressed, his alcohol drenched breath assaulting Drew's senses as he answered the phone. "Hey baby girl!"

"Hey dad- wait, are you drunk?" Bri asked incredulously.

"No!" Rick protested.

"Ok then," Bri said in a disbelieving tone, "do you need to be picked up? I'm going to bed soon and I hadn't heard from you."

"It's not that late."

"It's one in the morning." Rick pulled the phone away from his ear and look at the time, it was indeed one in the morning. When did it get so late?

"Ok, we'll wait outside for you." Bri quickly agreed and hung up. The couple said their goodbyes to their friends, everyone in a different state of inebriation. Drew and Rick walked out hand in hand, stumbling occasionally much to the delight of the other. It had been a long time since they had let themselves become so intoxicated, normally it would only be a beer after work or break out the whiskey if they were celebrating something special. With Drew being on call most nights even if he wasn't working at the hospital and Rick working on The Force, he had seen too many drunk driving incidents for him to chance having a drink before heading off to work.

They were currently leaning against Kenny's black Escalade, Drew's hands slowly started to find their way under Rick's shirt.

"I've always liked this shirt," the doctor breathed into his husband's ear as Rick pressed sensual kisses along his collarbone. Were they currently making out in public in the middle of the night on the hood of his best friend's car? Yes. Did they care? Absolutely not. They had gotten a little bit bored waiting for Bri to show up and they couldn't think of anything better to pass the time.

* * *

Bri was steadily driving Drew's Jeep through the quiet streets of San Antonio, trying to find her fathers who were supposed to be waiting for her. Jasmine had left a few hours ago once their Bachelor marathon had finished, the teen had assumed her parents would have called her when they were ready to be picked up from the party as they never really stayed out too long. When midnight rolled around and she still hadn't heard from them she began to worry. She went through her pre-bedtime routine, remove makeup, brush teeth, take her medication and once she was finished she still hadn't gotten a call. Mustering the courage, she called her dad and waited; only to be surprised when she heard his drunken voice on the other end. Bri had never really seen her fathers intoxicated, she had heard a few stories including when Drew almost missed her lung transplant because he had been taken to jail; that was probably the most interesting one.

Driving up to TC's house, she saw many cars parked along the street including a black Escalade. Bri could see Rick angled over the hood of the car but she couldn't see Drew, wait why did her dad have four legs? Wait was that Drew laying on the hood? Why was Rick's pants unbuttoned? OH MY GOD was that her dad's hand down the front of Rick's pants?!

Traumatized, Bri rapidly pressed the horn and flashed the headlights trying to get them to stop. Seemingly unfazed, the Captain stood up shakily and cheered a greeting when he saw his ride appear.

"I'm going to need so much therapy," Bri muttered to herself as she got out of the car and helped her plastered parents towards the car.

* * *

Bri was regretting letting her friend leave as she tried to haul both her fathers inside, neither of them making it easy on her. On their way home, they had loudly sang along to the radio both of them terribly off key and only getting about a third of the words right. Every time she would pass a fast food joint they would start demanding and chanting about being hungry, Bri ignored them and drove faster.

Bri guided them to the couch and unceremoniously drop them onto it.

"Ok stay here, I'm going to get your bed ready," Bri told, explaining it to them like they were five years old. She made quick work of pulling the covers back and arranging the pillows when she faintly heard the beeping of the microwave. Hurriedly the teen walked to the kitchen to find it in complete chaos, pizza boxes strewn along the counter from her dinner earlier, a bag of potato chips half spilled on the floor, not to mention both her parents sprawled out on the ground seeming to be having a picnic. A six pack of beer between them (not that they needed it), chocolate, more chips, candy, a loaf of bread which Drew was now trying to sloppily construct a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Rolling her eyes for the umpteenth time that night, the teen decided to take her phone and start recording.

"Dads smile!" Bri encouraged, Drew and Rick happy to oblige in their drunken state. Bri could see this video working very much in her favour someday.

* * *

Drew staggered into his bedroom, dragging his button up shirt over his head and throwing it in a heap across the room; that was future Drew's problem to clean. He roughly sat on the bed, pulling at his dress shoes, groaning at the sheer exhaustion it was taking. Muttering a defeated 'fuck it', he left his shoes on and started undoing his tight black jeans, looking up to see Rick being guided to the other side of the bed by their irritated daughter. The other man yawned widely as he fell back onto his pillow and started snuggling into it. The teen helped Rick remove his boots then Drew untie his shoes and placed them on the floor, she decided to leave Rick fully clothed because it was easier and undressing her dad was just something she didn't want to do while the doctor removed his jeans leaving himself in a pair of briefs.

"Ok goodnight," Bri said tiredly, pulling up the covers around their shoulders and tucked them in, "I'm going to bed and I want you to go to sleep. As a precaution in going to be wearing headphones because who knows what you are going to do."

"Bri I love you," Drew expressed, enthusiastically pulling her into a tight hug against his chest.

"Too tight," Bri told as she struggled to breath.

"No, you need to know how much I love you, you're like a daughter to me." Drew expressed earnestly.

"I am your daughter," Bri told like it wasn't already glaringly obvious.

"You're my daughter? Wow, I'm so lucky," Drew said, his voice catching as she saw a tear form in the corner of his eye. Chuckling, the teen pressed a kiss to both of her fathers' forehead before leaving and turning off the light.

Drew eyes started to droop quickly, feeling himself about to pass out when a pair of lips started pressing against his bare chest. Squinting he looked over to see his husband slowly climbing on top of him, sloppily licking down his torso.

"You're like a snail leaving a slime track," Drew told, his voice rapidly becoming thick with sleep.

"I was going for sexy," Rick explained, tonguing the waistband of the doctor's briefs. Drew chuckled as he lifted up his hips to help his husband pull them off completely.

"I guess you'll just have to try harder," Drew replied with a flirtatious tone. The Captain nuzzled the other man's hip bone, much to the doctor's delight. Drew waited patiently for his husband to continue, growing confused when he didn't.

"Rick?" no answer. "Rick?" grunting in annoyance Drew pushed himself up to see what the hell was taking so long, only to find that Rick had passed out on his thigh. "Are you kidding me?" Drew asked himself as he harshly nudged the other man, gaining no response. Grumbling in frustration, he pushed the other man away, so roughly that now his arm was hanging off the bed. Drew turned away, pulling the blanket back over himself, placed his head on the pillow and passed out himself within seconds.

* * *

'Oh god' was Rick first thought as he woke up in a daze, why was his mouth so dry, why did his whole body feel so heavy, why had someone taken a baseball bat to his head and then ran over it with a truck? Well that's what it felt like at least.

Slowly he tried to open his eyes, he looked around the dark room trying to figure out what had happened, before he got too far he felt something harshly stab the top of his hand.

"Ow! What the fuck?" Rick asked into the dark room, violently trying to pull his hand away to no avail. Pushing himself up against the bedhead he saw Drew now dressed in sweats and a hoodie holding a cannula and IV line, his own face scrunched up in pain.

"Do you have to be so loud?" Drew groaned, tearing a piece of medical tape off with his teeth and taping it over the needle. The Captain noticing that his husband also had an IV in his own hand.

"Why are you drugging me?" Rick asked sceptically, he noticed a glass of water on the bedside table and took a sip; maybe he should be concerned that it was spiked as well.

"I'm not technically drugging you," Drew began slowly, his hand slipped as he tried to attach the IV line to the cannula.

"Fuck that hurts!" Rick moaned in pain, his fingers flexing as he tried to erase the pain shooting up his arm.

"I have a massive hangover, give me a break," Drew told exasperatedly, finally attaching it, he made sure everything was secured before going to sit next to his husband against the bedhead. The doctor looked around before attaching the bags of fluids to each beside lamp and yawned tiredly. "And I'm not drugging you. It's a 'Banana Bag', it has a bunch of vitamins and good stuff in it that does wonders when you have a hangover."

"And you just have these on hand?" Rick asked, leaning his heavy head on Drew's shoulder.

"No, I wish," Drew laughed, pressing a kiss to his husband's forehead "apparently we made out on Kenny's car last night and he saw us; well everyone saw. He brought these over earlier, thinking we would need them along with showing me a video he felt the need to record.

"I…. don't remember that," Rick chuckled, slightly embarrassed.

"Oh Bri does, evidently that's how she found us last night. Gave me an earful this morning, she also has her own video of us that she would not show me. Wanting to use it for future blackmail."

"Argh, I'm never drinking again," Rick grumbled, sliding down to lay back against his pillow and hide his face.

"You shouldn't, you passed out trying to give me a blow job last night," Drew smirked, as he leant his face next to Rick's and pull his hands off his face. Gasping Rick stared at him in shock, his mouth completely agape.

"I did not!"

"Oh but you did!" Drew laughed uncontrollably, quite enjoying Rick's discomfort "I was sobering up by then and it's funny now but not so much last night."

"Of course you would remember that," Rick grumbled, "I would totally redeem myself now if I wasn't so sure I would vomit if I did any sudden movements."

"That's ok," Drew assured, still embarrassed Rick wrapped his arms securely around his husband and held him tight. The doctor relished in the comfort and relaxed into it. The dozed off and on for the next few hours, increasingly feeling better as the IV fluids entered their bodies. Later that day they woke up to numerous notifications on their phones from various social media sites as Kenny thought it would be a good idea to post the video of them from last night.

It was official, Rick was never, ever drinking again.

* * *

Tell me what you think!

Im also thinking of doing a prompt serious, so leave your suggestions


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